Date Nite

Being in new jersey has been the highs and the lows. tonight i decided to check something else off my list of "things i've never done before by myself"...tonight i went to a movie alone. just me and my popcorn and root beer. feeling inspired and encouraged after mine and michelle's conversation 2 weekends ago, i decided to go for it. i've never been self assured enough to go to movies or dinner by myself. but since i've been traveling by myself for work these past few weeks, it's been my chance to test the waters.

like last week, i was feeling very bold and did not want room service. i was trying to think about what i wanted for dinner, and i got a craving for chicken crispers. i was still feeling nervous about going to dinner alone, so i took another look at the room service menu just in case. but nothing was going to satisfy my chicken crispers craving except the real thing. chili's it is, then! whew, you can do this. i drove to chili's and it's about 8:30...and the parking lot has 2 cars in the lot. i'm seriously debating whether or not to go in, but i am resolved to do this. i opt for a high-top in the bar area (where there are actually people). mind you, there are only 4 people, but oh well. so i sit down with my purse, phone, and yellow notebook (yes, i brought a notebook to write in just in case things got weird and i felt like i had to do something). but that's beside the point. i sat the notebook in the chair beside me and made myself put my phone away. i didn't want to be these cliche' people that can't just do nothing and look at their phone as a way to make it look like they've got something to do (note: i took my phone out to text michelle that i was eating dinner alone. then put it away for the rest of dinner).

A nice waiter around my age comes over and takes my order, John. he was nice and it made the "first dinner by myself" feel really easy, like ive been doing this my whole life. i got my chicken crispers and a blue moon. alas, the chicken crispers weren't as good as i'd imagined, but they were just the thing that got me out of the hotel room. john was being accidentally clumsy and i tried not to laugh. knocking my table when he walked by me, dropping sugar packets (yes, they were already cleaning the restaurant for the night). he was rubber banding the sugar packets together and i couldn't figure it out. then he sarcastically explained that they actually wash the dish things the sugar goes in...who knew! i kept an eye on the group of ladies that were chatting to see if their conversation was dying bc they had already finished their meal. and the couple that was done eating but being really slow packing their leftovers and debating how much tip to leave. i started casually gulping my beer bc the thought of being the last customer in the restaurant terrified me. i didn't want to be that girl holding everyone in the kitchen up. i mean, it was a monday night, but the place was dead at 9pm... so i held out and chatted with john and his bartender friend and told them id be back in hopewell maybe in october. dinner alone wasn't that bad!

and the movie tonight was really fun. i took myself on my very first date lol. i got 1 student ticket, $9 (shush). small popcorn (butter), $6. small root beer (was going for diet coke, but changed my mind...i have a weakness for root beer), $4.75. less than $20, i'm a pretty cheap date! i went to see eat, pray, love because it's a coming of age movie and a chickish flick. i feel like im starting a new chapter too, or want to. i liked the movie fine, even though it got bad reviews. it was just me and another couple in the theatre, but i was actually quite comfortable. i thought i'd be embarrassed to laugh by myself, but i found that when i laughed, so did the couple. i think we bonded. i even said, "have a good night" to them when i left the theatre. it's scary doing things by yourself, but you learn a lot about yourself. it's not too bad once you put yourself out there and stop overthinking everything. tonight's my last night in hopewell, nj. it's like i'm living in a different life up here. when i think about my life in charlotte, it feels like i'm watching my life from the outside. i can't really explain it. but, it's definitely given me time to think. now to act, that's the real kicker.